Letter 148. To the Matron Celantia.

This is an interesting letter addressed to a lady of rank, on the principles and methods of a holy life. It is not, however, the work of Jerome, of whose style it shews few traces. It has been ascribed in turn to Paulinus of Nola and Sulpicius Severus.

It teaches the noble matron Celantia how to lead her life in a holy and religious way, among the honors of the world, wealth, and burdens of marriage. It first urges her to read the Divine Scriptures, then teaches her not to be proud of noble lineage, and shows where true nobility lies; Finally, it sharply rebukes that a few years ago she had proposed to herself to observe continence without the agreement and consent of her husband, and shows what she owes to her husband.

The below translation made by ChatGPT 3.5 from this Latin text.

1. The celebrated old saying of the scriptures is that there is shame by which glory and grace may be found; and there is shame again, which is accustomed to bring forth sin. Although the truth of this saying shines vividly enough by its own light to the understanding of all, yet it is strange how, in the present case, it has become clearer to me personally. For when challenged by your letter to write (which begged me with urgent pleas), I confess I long hesitated about my reply; silence demanded it of me through modesty. However, your faithful ambition overpowered me and forced the strength of your entreaties. Humility begged insistently, fighting fiercely with my hesitation, with a certain great violence of faith beating upon the barriers of my mouth. And when my mind, wavering between these things, weighed one thing against the other, I was almost ashamed to carry out my duty. But that sentence which I have set down above, uttered by the wise man, nerved me to repel this unprofitable shame and to cast off that ruinous silence, especially since I saw that the very reason for writing was so honorable, so noble, that I ought to think myself guilty of a sin if I kept silent. And in my mind recalling that saying from Scripture: "A time to keep silence and a time to speak (Eccles. 3:7)," and again, "Be not wanting in comforting them that weep (Sir. 7:34)," and St. Peter's words: "Be ready always to satisfy every man that asks you a reason of that hope which is in you (1 Pet. 3:15)."

2. For you request eagerly and forcefully that we define for you a certain rule from the holy Scriptures, that you may order the course of your life according to the will of the Lord, so that, having come to know it, you may esteem furniture of morals more than the honors of the world and the allurements of wealth, and so that you may be able, having entered into marriage, not only to please your spouse, but also the one who granted it to you. To not satisfy such a holy request and such a pious desire, what else is it but to not love the progress of another? Therefore, I will obey your prayers, and I will strive to spur you on to carrying out the will of the Lord, using His own teachings. For He is the true Lord and Master of all, who commands us to please Him and shows us how we can please Him. Therefore, let Him inform you, let Him teach you, who, when asked in the Gospel by a young man what he should do to merit eternal life, immediately sets forth divine commandments, thus showing us that we must do the will of Him from whom we hope for and expect the rewards. And therefore, He testifies in another place: "Not every one who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he shall enter into the kingdom of heaven."(Matthew 7:21) By this it is manifestly shown that we do not merit the magnitude of so great a reward by confession of God alone unless it be united with acts of faith and justice.

3. For what kind of confession is that which believes in God in such a way that it considers His command as nothing? Or how can we truly from the heart say "Lord, Lord," if we despise the precepts of Him we confess as Lord? From where he himself says in the Gospel: "And why call ye me, Lord, Lord; and do not the things which I say?" (Luke 6:46). And again: "This people honoureth me with their lips: but their heart is far from me" (Matthew 15:8; Isaiah 29:13). And he speaks again through the prophet: "A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honour? and if I be a master, where is my fear?" (Malachi 1:6) And if I am a father, where is my honor? and if I am a master, where is my fear? (Malachi 1:6) From this it appears that neither the Lord is honored by them nor feared who do not do his commandments. And more explicitly to David it is said, who had committed a sin: 'And thou hast despised the Lord for that thing' (2 Samuel 12:10); and to Eli the word of the Lord came: 'For them that honor me, I will honor; but they that despise me shall be despised' (1 Samuel 2:30).

4. And we are secure and in good spirit, who by each and every precept, dishonoring the most merciful God and provoking him to anger, and by contemptuously disobeying his command, go so far as to commit such great injustice against so great a majesty? For what can ever be so proud, or indeed so ungrateful, as to live in opposition to the will of him, from whom you have received life itself? How can we despise his commandments, who commands only to have reasons to reward? For God does not need our obedience, but we need his command. His commandments are more desirable than gold and precious stones, and sweeter than honey and the honeycomb: for in keeping them there is great reward (Psalm 19:11-12). And therefore, we provoke his anger, and offend the immense goodness of God even more, because we despise it for the sake of such great reward. We consider not only his commands, but also his promises as worthless. Hence, the sentence of the Lord must always be remembered by us: 'If you want to come to life, keep the commandments' (Matthew 19:17). For this is the whole law that is with us; this is what the Prophets and Apostles teach; this is what the voice of Christ and his blood demand from us. He died for all, so that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them (2 Corinthians 5:15). But for them, living is nothing but to observe His precepts, which He, as a certain token of His love, commanded us to keep. 'If you love me,' He said, 'keep my commandments' (John 14:15). And he who has my commandments and keeps them is the one who loves me. And again: 'If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him, and make our dwelling with him.' Whoever does not love me does not keep my words (John 14:24). True love has great power. And the one who is perfectly loved claims the entire will of the one who loves. Nothing is more powerful than love. If we truly love Christ, if we remember that we have been redeemed by His blood, we should want nothing more, and we should do nothing at all, except what we know He wants.

5. However, there are two types of commands in which all justice is contained. One is to prohibit, the other to command. For just as evil things are prohibited, so also are good things commanded. There, leisure is commanded, here study. There, the mind is restrained, here it is incited. There, to have done something is culpable, while here, to have not done something is culpable. Hence the Prophet says: "Who is the man who wants life and desires to see good days? Prohibit your tongue from evil, and let not your lips speak deceit. Turn away from evil, and do good" (Psalm 33: 13-14 and 15). And the blessed Apostle. Hating evil, clinging to good (Rom. 12:9). Therefore, this dual and different commandment, namely to forbid and to command, has been commanded with equal right to all. Neither a virgin, nor a widow, nor a wife is exempt from this command. In any matter, in any degree, it is an equal sin either to admit what is forbidden or not to do what is commanded. Nor let the error of those deceive you who choose by their own judgment which of God's commandments they should do most carefully, or who despise those which seem worthless and small, nor do they fear, lest in despising the smallest things according to the divine decision, they may gradually fall. (Eccl. 19.1).

6. Indeed, it is of the Stoics to remove the difference between sins and to judge all offenses as equal: and not make any distinction between crime and error. But we, although we believe that there is a great difference between sins, because we also read: nevertheless, we say that it is enough to be cautious and to beware of the smallest things in order to take care of the greatest things. For we abstain more easily from any offense, the more we fear it. He who fears even small things does not progress quickly to greater things. And truly, I do not know whether we can call any sin small which is committed in contempt of God. And he is most wise who considers not so much what is commanded, as he who has commanded it; and he thinks not of the quantity of power, but of the dignity of the one who commands.

7. Therefore, to you who are building a spiritual house, let the foundation be laid not on the sand of levity, but on the solid rock of innocence, on which you may more easily raise the high structure of justice. For he has filled a great part of justice who has harmed no one; and blessed is he who can say with the holy Job: 'I have not caused the eyes of the widow to fail, or blessed any one that was to perish. I have not eaten my morsel alone, and the fatherless hath not eaten thereof from my birth' (Job 31:16-18). So he spoke boldly and confidently to the Lord: 'Who is he that will plead against me?' (Job 13:19), that is, 'Who shall have the boldness to accuse me before thee, that I may be proved to have wronged him?' It is the voice of a pure conscience to sing with the Prophet: 'I have walked in the innocence of my heart; in the midst of my house I have learned justice' (Psalm 100:2). Therefore, the Christian soul drives away malice, hatred and envy, which are either very great or the only seeds of harm: it guards innocence not only with hand or tongue, but also with the heart, and fears to harm not only in deeds, but also in desires. For as far as the purpose of sin is concerned, he who intended to harm has already done harm. Many of us define an innocent person absolutely and completely as one who does not harm anyone by abandoning what is beneficial to them. If it is true, then rejoice in your conscience of innocence, if you are able to help, never stop; but if they are separated and distinct from each other: one thing is not to harm, which you can always do, another is to benefit when you can, another is not to do evil, and another is to do good. That should come back to you again: a Christian is not sufficient if he fulfills only one part of justice, both of which are commanded to him.

8. For we should not look to the example of the multitude: which, following no discipline of morals, holding no order of life, is led not so much by reason as by a certain impetus. Nor should we imitate those who lead a pagan life under the name of Christian, and declare one thing by profession, and another by behavior: and, as the Apostle says, they confess to know God, but by their deeds they deny Him (Tit. 1.13). Among a Christian and a pagan, not only faith, but also life should distinguish: and reveal different religions through different deeds. "Do not, says the Apostle, be yoked with infidels. For what participation has justice with iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? And what concord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has the believer with the unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 et seqq.)

9. Therefore, there is a great separation between us and them. There is a certain distinction between error and truth. They savor earthly things, who do not have the promise of heavenly things. They involve themselves completely in this short life, who do not know of eternal life. They do not fear to sin, who believe in the impunity of sinners. They serve vice, who do not hope for the future rewards of virtue. But we, who confess a pure faith, must manifest every man before the tribunal of Christ, so that each person may receive what is due for the things done while in the body, whether good or evil (2 Cor. 5:10) : we ought to be far from vices, as the Apostle says: For those who belong to Christ have crucified their own flesh with its passions and desires (Galatians 5:24) . Nor should they follow the wandering crowd, who claim to be disciples of truth.

10. Certainly, the Savior shows two ways of life and distinct paths of living in the Gospel. "How spacious is the way that leads to death, and many there are who enter it. And again: How narrow and restricted is the way that leads to life, and few there are who find it" (Matt. 7:13-14). See how great the separation is between these paths, and how much the difference. The former leads to death, the latter tends toward life. The former is traveled and worn by many, the latter is hardly found by a few. For indeed that [the way of vice] through the habit of vice, as if it were steeper and softer, and as though it easily draws to itself the multitude of those who come, with some pleasant flowers of pleasures: but this [the way of virtue], on the other hand, is sadder and rougher to those unaccustomed to it in matters of virtue: it is chosen only by those, for whom the delight of the journey is not so dear to their heart, as the advantage of the final destination. For the excessive habit of vices makes the rough and unpleasant way of virtues for us, which if transferred to the other side, will be found, as the Scripture says, a smooth path of justice. (Proverbs 2:20 according to LXX). Therefore, let us now consider the reason of our life, and with the testimony of conscience learn through which path we walk. For everything we do, everything we say, is either of the broad or of the narrow path. If with a few we find a narrow and delicate path, we tend towards life. But if we follow the path of many, according to the judgement of the Lord, we go towards death.

11. If we are possessed with hatred and envy, if we give way to cupidity and avarice, if we seek to enjoy the present without thought of the future: we are being led along a broad, easy road that leads to death. There is a large band of people who go with us, under the influence of similar passions, and many others drawn to them by pleasure, profit, or other motives. Their course lies side by side with ours. But, if we wish to be saved, we must fight valiantly and, aided by the grace of God, come out victorious. On the contrary, if we are strangers to all these vices, if we exhibit a pure and free mind, and all our passion has been stamped out, and we strive to be rich only in virtues, we will exert ourselves along a narrow path. Indeed, such a way of life is shared by only a few. And it is very rare and difficult to find suitable companions for this journey. There are many who pretend to make this journey and who, by way of various byroads of error, return to the crowded path. Therefore, we should fear that whom we believe to be leaders of the straight path, we actually have as companions in error.

12. Therefore, if examples are found that lead us along this path and keep to the straight path of the Gospel, they must be followed. But if they are lacking, or are thought to be lacking, the pattern of the Apostles has been set before everyone. Paul, the vessel of election, cries out and calls us to this narrow way, saying: Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1). Certainly, above all else, the example of the Lord himself shines forth, who says in the Gospel: Come to me all of you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart (Matthew 11:28-29). If it is dangerous to imitate those about whom you doubt whether they should be imitated, then it is certainly safest to imitate him and follow in his footsteps who said: I am the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). For he never errs, who follows the truth. Whence also the Apostle John says: He who says he remains in Christ, ought to walk just as He walked, and to walk in Him (1 John 2:6). And blessed Peter says: Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example, that we should follow in His steps, who did not sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth. When He was insulted, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness (1 Peter 2:21 and following).

15. Let all excuses for errors cease; let the foul solaces of sinning be taken away. We do absolutely nothing when we defend ourselves through the examples of the multitude, and, for our consolation, we often count the faults of others as if we lack the ones we should follow. We are sent after his example, whom we all confess to be imitated. And therefore let your special care be to know divine law: by which you can, as it were, see the present examples of the saints: learn by his counsel ((or teachings)) what must be done or avoided. For the greatest help for justice is to fill the mind with divine teachings, and to always meditate with the heart on what you desire to execute in action. To the still-unlearned people, and to men unaccustomed to obedience, it was commanded through Moses by the Lord that, as a sign of remembrance, the fringes of their garments should have insignia of hyacinthine color with crimson, so that, even when their eyes glanced inadvertently hither and thither, the memory of heavenly precepts might be awakened. Concerning these fringes the Pharisees are rebuked by the Lord (Matthew 23:5) because, by a perverse use of them, they began to wear them not for the admonition of God's precepts, but for the sake of ostentation, so that they might be considered holy by the people, as though from greater diligence in observing them.

14. But to you who are observant, not only must the precepts of the letters be adhered to, but the spirit, the memory of divine commandments must be spiritually cultivated. May those precepts of the Lord not be remembered so much as they are always considered. Therefore, may divine scriptures always be in your hands, and may they be constantly turned over in your mind. Do not think that it is sufficient for you to keep the commands of God in your memory and forget them in your deeds. But understand them, so that you may do whatever you have learned to do. For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified (Romans 2:31). Indeed, a wide and immense field of divine law stretches out. It feeds and refreshes the mind of the reader, blooming like celestial flowers with various testimonies of truth and amazing delight. Knowing and reflecting on all these things is a great benefit for maintaining justice. But as a brief reminder, the sentence from the Gospel to be chosen and inscribed on your heart, which is brought forth by the Lord's mouth as a summary of all justice, is this: "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them." For this is the law and the prophets (Matthew 7:12). For there are infinite aspects and parts of justice: which is not only difficult to pursue in writing, but also to grasp in thought. All of which are encompassed in one short sentence, and either absolves or condemns the hidden conscience of people with a secret judgement of the heart.

15. Therefore, for every action, every word, and every thought, this sentiment should be reconsidered: which, like a certain mirror prepared for you and always within reach, may show you the quality of your will, and may even reprove you for an unjust work or fill you with joy for a just one. For every time you have such a disposition towards another as you wish them to have towards you, you follow the path of justice. But whenever you act towards others in a manner that you wish no one to act towards you, you have abandoned the path of justice. Behold, the whole of that divine law--all of it is difficult and arduous. And for what reason we cry out against harsh commands to the Lord, and say that we are either pressed by difficulty or impossibility of the commandments. It is not enough that we do not obey orders, unless we also pronounce the commanding one as unjust, while we complain that the author of justice, not only has commanded harsh and difficult things, but even impossible ones. "All things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do you also to them." He wishes us to be united and connected by mutual acts of charity. And all people are joined together by mutual love, so that each one, in preference to himself, endeavors to benefit another, what he himself wishes to receive from all: that is, the whole of justice, and the precept of God that the common benefit of all men. And, O wonderful mercy of the Lord! O ineffable kindness of God! A reward is promised to us if we love one another, that is, if we offer to each other the things we depend on for each other. And we resist his will with a proud and ungrateful spirit, whose commandment is also a benefit.

16. Never completely detract from anyone, nor desire to be praiseworthy by means of the criticism of others; rather, learn to adorn your own life than to carp at another's. And always remember the Scripture saying: Do not love to detract lest you be rooted out (Prov. 20.13. according to the LXX). Very few are those who renounce this vice, and you will rarely find those who wish to exhibit their own life as irreproachable, so that they may not willingly criticize others. Such great desire for this bad habit has invaded the minds of men, that even those who have moved away from other vices, fall into this one, as if into the last trap of the devil. But you must avoid this evil in such a way that you not only do not detract itself, but you also refrain from believing anyone who detracts from others. Do not give authority to detractors by consent; do not nourish their vice by agreeing. Do not, says Scripture, be in agreement with those who diminish their neighbor, and you will not receive sin upon yourself. And elsewhere: Stop your ears with thorns, and do not listen to an evil tongue (Eccli. 28. 28). Hence, even blessed David, counting various forms of innocence and justice, did not remain silent about this virtue, saying: And he did not accept reproach against his neighbors (Ps. 14. 4): because he not only opposed, but also persecuted the detractor. For he says: I will persecute him who secretly slanders his neighbor (Ps. 100. 5). Truly, this vice should be extinguished above all, and entirely excluded by those who want to live a holy life. For nothing disturbs the mind so much, nothing makes the mind so fickle and light, as to easily believe everything and to follow the words of detractors with reckless mental assent. And hence frequent disagreements arise, and unjust hatred. This is what often makes even the closest friends enemies, while it brings together those who are harmonious but separates trusting souls with malicious speech. On the other hand, great peace of mind and great seriousness of character is not to rashly hear anything sinister about anyone. And blessed is he who has fortified himself against this fault, so that no one dares to slander in his presence. But if we were diligent in this matter, we would stop believing slanderers indiscriminately, and all would fear to slander lest they make themselves cheap, not so much as others. But this is a well-known evil, and therefore this defect rages in many people because it is almost gladly listened to by all.

17. Also, beware of the flattery of flatterers, and the harmful deceptions of compliments, like some plagues of the soul. There is nothing that corrupts the minds of men so easily, nothing that wounds the soul with so sweet and soft a pain. Hence a certain wise man says: The words of flatterers are soft, but they in reality wound the intestines (Prov. 26. 22). And the Lord speaks through the Prophet: My people, who bless you, lead you astray and destroy the paths of your feet (Isaiah 3. 12, LXX). In many ways, especially at this time, this vice reigns, which is the most serious, and takes the place of humility and kindness. It happens that he who does not know how to flatter, is considered either envious or proud. Truly, it is a great and subtle art, to praise another in commendation of oneself, and by deceiving, to bind the deceived mind to oneself: and what is done especially by this fault, to sell false praises for a certain price. What is this great levity of mind, what is this great vanity, to abandon one's own conscience, to follow someone else's opinion, and indeed a false and simulated one? To be carried away by the wind of false praise, to rejoice at one's own deceit, and to accept illusion as a benefit? Therefore, if you truly desire to be praiseworthy, do not seek the praise of men. And prepare your conscience for him who will both illuminate the hidden things of darkness and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts. And then there will be praise for you from God (1 Corinthians 4:5).

18. Therefore, let your mind be attentive and vigilant, and your soul always armed against sins. Let your speech be moderate and sparing in all things, and indicate more the necessity of speaking than the willingness to do so. Adorn prudence with modesty, and let shame excel all virtues in you, which has always been the chief virtue among women. Consider for a long time beforehand what is to be said, and still, being silent, take care lest anything be regretted having been said. Let your thought weigh your words, and let the balance of the soul dispense the duty of the tongue. Wherefore, the Scripture saith: "Melt your silver and gold, and make a balance with your words, and make straight your reins and take heed lest you fall by the tongue" (Eccl. 28). Let no evil word proceed out of your mouth: but that which is good, to the edification of faith, that it may administer grace to the hearers. Be ye merciful, modest, humble, and patient: bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if any have a complaint against another: even as the Lord hath forgiven you, so do you also. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father that is in heaven, forgive you your sins (1 Pet. 3:8-11).

19. To lie and to swear, your tongue completely ignores, and such love of truth may exist in you that whatever you say, you think it is an oath. About this, the Savior says to the disciples: 'But I say to you, do not swear at all.' And shortly after: 'Let your word be yes, yes: no, no: but what is more than these, is from evil' (Matthew 5: 34, 37). Therefore, in every word and deed, let a calm and peaceful mind be kept: and let the presence of God always occur to your thoughts. Let your spirit be humble, meek, and raised against nothing but vice alone. May pride, greed, or anger never exalt or bend him. For nothing should be quieter, purer, or finally more beautiful than that mind that is being prepared for the dwelling place of God, whom shining temples of gold and altars distinguished by gems do not delight, but rather an adorned soul with virtues. Therefore, the temple of God is also said to be the hearts of the saints, as the Apostle affirms, saying: If anyone violates the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which you are (1 Cor. 3:17).

20. You have nothing more excellent than humility and nothing more lovable. For this is the principal preserver and, as it were, guardian of all virtues; and there is nothing that makes us so acceptable to both men and God as being great in merit of life and lowly in humility. Wherefore Scripture says: "The greater you are, humble yourself the more, and you will find grace before God" (Eccl 3:20). And the Lord speaks through the Prophet: On whom shall I rest, if not on the humble, and quiet, and trembling with my words? (Isai. 66. 2) But you, follow this humility: not that which is shown and pretended with the gesture of the body, or with the broken voice of words, but that which is expressed with the pure affection of the heart. For it is one thing to have virtue, and quite another to have the likeness of virtue; one thing is to follow the shadow of things, another is to follow the truth. Indeed, it is much uglier that pride which lies hidden under certain signs of humility. For I do not know how much more disgusting are the vices that are concealed by the appearance of virtues.

21. Do not ever consider yourself superior because of your noble ancestry, nor should you look down on those born in obscurity or lowly places as being beneath you. Our faith does not judge by social status, but by the character of individuals. It declares who is a slave or noble based on their morals alone. True freedom can be found only in serving no sins. True nobility in the eyes of God is shown through exemplary virtue. Who among men is nobler in the eyes of God than Peter, a fisherman, and a poor man? Who among women is more illustrious than blessed Mary, a carpenter's wife? Yet, Christ gave the keys to heaven to that fisherman and to the poor, and made that carpenter's wife the mother of the same one who received those keys. "For God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" (1 Corinthians 1:27). God chose the lowly and despised things of the world to more easily bring the powerful and noble to humility. For in vain does someone boast of their noble birth, since everyone is of equal honor and value before God, having been redeemed by the same blood of Christ. It doesn't matter in what condition one was born, since we are all reborn equally in Christ. And if we forget that we are all born of the same origin, we should always remember that we are all regenerated by the same one.

22. Beware lest, if you begin to fast or abstain, you imagine that you are already holy. For this virtue is an aid, not the perfection of sanctity. Rather, caution must be taken not to allow this to make you think of illicit things with a sense of security, while disregarding lawful things. Whatever is offered to God beyond justice should not hinder justice, but rather assist it. However, what good is fulfilled by the body's being weakened by abstinence, if the spirit is swollen with pride? What praise shall we deserve for the pallor of fasting, if we are envious with greenness? What virtue is there in not drinking wine, and yet being intoxicated with anger and hatred? Then, I say, abstinence is excellent, then the chastisement of the body is beautiful and great, when the mind is free from vices. Those who hold the virtue of abstinence probably and knowingly afflict their own flesh, that they may break the pride of their soul and, as it were, descend from a certain height of self-contempt and arrogance to carry out the will of the Lord, which is most perfectly attained in humility. Therefore, they withdraw their minds from various desires for food, so that they may occupy all their energy in the desire for virtue. And already, the flesh feels less the burden of fasting and abstinence, while the soul hungers for justice. For Paul, also, the vessel of election, while he chastises his body and reduces it to servitude, lest in preaching to others he himself should become a castaway (1 Cor. 9:27), does not practice chastity for this end alone, as some unwise people think, but abstinence is of assistance not only to this virtue, but to all virtues whatsoever. Nor is the glory of the Apostles great or entire for avoiding fornication; but rather the soul is trained by the punishment of the body, and as it desires nothing from pleasures, it is able to think more about virtues; lest as a master of perfection, something imperfect be shown in oneself; lest as an imitator of Christ, anything outside of Christ's command or will be done; and may he not teach less by example than by word, and when he has preached to others, may he not be reprobate himself; and let him hear with the Pharisees: For they say and do not (Matthew 23:3).

23. However, it is both the command and the example of the apostles that we should be mindful not only of our conscience, but also of our reputation (Romans 12:17). This master of the nations teaches nothing superfluous or unfruitful, for he desires that even non-believers should be helped toward the faith through the good deeds of Christians, so that the discipline of religion may be commended by the example of religion itself. And therefore he bids us shine like lights in the midst of a wicked and perverse nation (Philippians 2:15), among whom we should appear as providers of the light, so that through our good deeds, the unbelievers themselves may be able to discern the light of truth amid the darkness of ignorance. Therefore, he himself also says to the Romans: "Providing good not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of men" (Rom. 12.17). And elsewhere: "Be without offence to the Jews, and to the Gentiles, and to the Church of God, as I also in all things please all men, not seeking that which is profitable to myself, but to many" (1 Cor. 10.32-33). Blessed is he who so holily and seriously has disposed of his life, that not even a malicious word can be formed against him, while the greatness of his merit fights against the desires of detractors, whom no one thinks worthy of belief. And if achieving this is difficult and too lofty, let us at least employ diligence in our own lives, so that evil-minded people may not find occasion to slander us. Let no spark proceed from us, by which the flame of sinister reputation might be fanned against us. Otherwise, we angrily blame our detractors in vain if we provide them with material to detract from us. However, if we provide diligently and carefully for everything that is noble and prioritize the fear of God in all our actions, they will still rave nonetheless. Our conscience will console us, which is then most secure when it has not even given them occasion to speak ill of it. Woe is promised to those by the Prophet who say that good is evil, who call light darkness, and what is sweet, bitter. Let us, therefore, heed the words of the Savior: Blessed are you when men revile you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely. Let us conduct ourselves, so that no one can speak ill of us with falsehood.

24. Thus hold your family concerns, so as to grant some respite for your soul. Choose for yourself a suitable setting, somewhat removed from the noise of family, to which you might withdraw, as into a harbour from the storms of many worries, and, with the excitement outside of your thoughts stilled, arrange things in tranquility. May study of the divine word be so frequent there, so frequent the occasions of prayer, so firm and deep your meditation upon the future, that with ease by means of this calling you find time for all other activities. And we do not say this to withdraw you from your affairs; indeed, it is our objective that in that place you learn, and there meditate, what sort of example you ought to be to yours.

25. Rule and nurture your household so that you desire to be seen more as the mother of your people than as their mistress, from whom you should demand respect rather than severity, out of kindness. Obsequiousness that comes from love is always more faithful and grateful than that which comes from fear. Especially in holy and blameless wedlock, the order of the Apostolic rule should be upheld.

26. Let his authority be preserved first of all, and let the whole household learn from you how much honor is owed to him. Show him obedience, demonstrate your great humility to him, and you will become as honored as he is, and you will have honored him even more. For, as the Apostle says, the head of the woman is the man (Eph. 5:23): and nothing else decorates the rest of the body as much as the dignity of the head. Hence he says elsewhere: Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord (Colossians 3:18). But Blessed Apostle Peter also says: Likewise, wives, be subject to your husbands, so that even if some do not believe the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives (1 Peter 3:1). If, therefore, honor is owed to pagan husbands by the right of marriage, how much more to Christians.

27. And to show by what adornments even men ought to be decorated by women joined to them, he says: Of whom the ornament is not outward, in the plaiting of the hair, or in the wearing of gold, or in the putting on of dress: but the man is hidden in the incorruptibility of a quiet and modest spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. But commanding these (things), (she) does not order (them) to be filthy in filth, and to be covered with bristly rags, but she forbids immoderate dress and overly choice adornment, and commends simple decoration and dress. Of which (things) he also says about the vessel of election: Likewise also women (should be) in adorned dress, with shamefacedness and sobriety: not with twisted hair, or gold, or pearls, or precious garments, but (which) befits women, promising chastity through good works (1 Tim. 2:9-10).

28. But I have found that you, inflamed with a wonderful ardor of faith, proposed to be continent some years ago and have consecrated the remaining time of your life to chastity. This is a sign of great courage and an indication of complete virtue to suddenly renounce enjoyment which has been experienced, to flee the well-known pleasures of the flesh, and to extinguish the flames of warm youth with love (or ardor) for faith. But I have also learned at the same time, which greatly troubles and stimulates me, that you have begun to preserve this only good without the consent and agreement of your husband, whereas this Apostolic authority altogether prohibits it, which in this matter only subjects the wife to the husband, but also the husband to the power of the wife. "The wife," he says, "does not have power over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife does" (1 Corinthians 7:4). However, you, as if having forgotten the pledge of marriage and this agreement and being unaware of the law, vowed chastity to the Lord without consulting your husband. But it is dangerous to promise what is still in the power of the other. And I do not know how pleasing a gift it is, if one person offers what belongs to two. We have already heard and seen many things done out of such ignorance, and couples torn apart, and, what it is unpleasant to remember, adultery committed under the pretext of chastity. For while one side is also abstaining from what is lawful, the other has fallen into what is unlawful. And I do not know who should be accused more in such a case, who should be blamed more, whether the one who is rejected by his spouse and commits fornication, or the one who, by rejecting her husband, somehow exposes him to fornication. And as concerning this matter, in order that you may know what the truth is, a few things must be set forth by me concerning divine authority. The rule of apostolic doctrine does not equate the virtue of continence with the duties of marriage, nor does it condemn marriage as the Manichees do. Therefore, the vessel of election and teacher of the Gentiles [i.e. the Apostle Paul] moves between the two and is moderate, so as to indulge incontinence with a remedy and provoke continence with a reward. And his entire purpose in this matter is to propose chastity from the opinion of each one, or at least that the common obligation be fulfilled by either.

29. But let us cite the words themselves of the Apostle and retract this whole case to its beginning. For he speaks to the Corinthians: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman" (1 Cor. 7:1). And although he has praised chastity here, yet in order not to seem to prohibit marriages to some people, he adds: "But for fear of fornication, let each have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband pay what he owes to his wife, and also the wife to her husband. But the wife does not have power over her own body, but the husband does." And the man does not have power over his own body, but the woman. Do not defraud one another (Ibid. and seq.). And again, lest by saying too much for the sake of marriage, he seem to exclude chastity, he adds: Except perhaps by agreement for a time, that you may give yourselves to prayer. But then he immediately as it were withdraws what he has said about a time, lest he should seem to be teaching a continence not continuous but temporary and brief. For he says: on account of your incontinence. But this I say by way of concession, not by way of commandment. Therefore, what he said for a time teaches that meditation must be made of chastity, so that through certain intervals of time, as if their powers of continence have been examined, they may promise without danger to each side that which must always be observed by both. But what he absolutely wills, he says plainly: Moreover, I want all men to be like myself, that is, to live in constant and perpetual chastity.

30. Do you not see how cautiously, how carefully, without any opportunity for scandal, the teacher has established a view of chastity, not wishing that the good be shaken by one person's rashness, which the consensus of both should bind and confirm? And in truth, what is firmer and safer than chastity which is maintained in common by the decision commenced by two people and supported by each one? Nor is one part alone concerned with itself, but they stir themselves mutually to a persevering virtue. For this, as for other good things, it is praiseworthy not only to have started, but also to have completed it. For quite some time, as you understand, speech is held in a difficult and dangerous place and dares not to lean towards either direction, for it fears each one equally, but from our difficulty, recognize your distinction; for we have chosen to sadden you, perhaps by saying true things, rather than deceive with false praise. As you see, the double evil, equal and dangerous risk, presses in from both sides; you are constricted by both. To completely despise and loathe a man is openly against the Apostle's advice; but to waste such an amount of time and not give back to God what you promised, that is to be feared and trembled for. As the saying goes, it is easy to make an enemy out of a friend whom you do not fulfill your promises. For so it is written: "If you make a vow to the Lord your God, do not delay in fulfilling it, for the Lord your God will surely demand an accounting from you, and you will be guilty of sin." (Deut. 23:21 and Eccl. 5:3). Therefore, he says: Give the man his due honor, that through both can you pay to the Lord the due vow you promised. We do not doubt his conscience, if you would wait a little: not that we draw you back from the good of chastity, but we strongly encourage your spirit to the oracle of chastity; so that he may offer a voluntary sacrifice to God, for a sweet smell: that the mind may be stripped of all worldly entanglements and bodily pleasures: that you may be able to more fully adhere to the precepts of the Lord. However, so that you do not think that anything was said carelessly by us, we have taught with testimonies from the divine Scriptures, just as the Apostle says: And they shall be two in one flesh (1 Cor. 6. 16. 17); no longer one flesh (Matt. 19. 6), but one spirit (1 Cor. 6. 17).

31. This is a great sacrament, and the journey to chastity is difficult, but the rewards are great. The Lord calls us in the Gospel saying: 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world' (Matthew 25:34). The same Lord says: 'Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light'. For the Lord himself says to those who are at his left: Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, which was prepared for the devil and his angels; (Matth. 25. 41): I know not any of you, ye workers of iniquity. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. They, indeed, shall all mourn, they shall lament, who thus wrap themselves up in cares for the present life, that they forget the future; whom the coming of the Lord, with a certain sleep of ignorance and bad security oppressed with waves, shall overtake: whence he himself says in the gospel: Take heed to yourselves, lest perhaps your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness, and the cares of this life; and that day come upon you suddenly; for as a snare shall it come upon all that sit upon the face of the whole earth (Luc. 21. 34. 35). And again: Watch ye therefore, and pray, for ye know not when the time is (Matth. 24. 42. and 25. 13).

32. Blessed are those who await and eagerly anticipate that day and who prepare themselves for it daily, who are not deluded by past righteousness but who are daily renewed in virtue according to the apostle. For the righteousness of the righteous will not help him if he stops being righteous. And likewise, the wickedness of the wicked will not harm him if he turns away from wickedness. Nor should the holy man therefore be secure, as long as he is engaged in the struggle of this life; nor should the sinner despair, who, according to the aforementioned sentence of the Prophet, can make himself just in one day; but the whole space of your life is to seek justice; nor trusting in past justice, become more lax; but as the Apostle says, Forgetting the things that are behind, but stretching forth myself to those that are before, I press towards the prize, to the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, knowing that God is the inspector of the heart (Phil. 3.15 and Prov. 24.12). And therefore he strives, so that he may have a clean soul from sin. For this reason it is written, Keep thy heart with all diligence (Prov. 4.23). And again: The Lord loves those with clean hearts. All the immaculate have been accepted by Him (Prov. 11. 20. according to LXX) . Therefore, spend the remaining time of your life without offense, so that you can sing confidently with the Prophet: I will walk with innocence of my heart in the midst of my house (Psal. 100. 2) . And again: I will go in to the altar of God, to God who gives joy to my youth (Psal. 42. 4) . For it is not enough to have begun; one must also strive to perfect justice.